Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
