He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
