Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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