i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
