I don't remember. Are we still dating?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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