wanna go halves on a baby?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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