the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I've blown a few things in my day
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
