I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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