Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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