Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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