my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
