Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
