He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
