I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
