Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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