Texts From Last Night

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  (226): View more from Ontario

  forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.

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  (226): forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions. http://tfl.nu/kw3s
  Replies (15) Good night (8006) Bad night (1193)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.

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  (317): fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked. http://tfl.nu/j4lz
  Replies (7) Good night (835) Bad night (3919)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?

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  (317): What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy? http://tfl.nu/iupy
  Replies (20) Good night (1473) Bad night (3540)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".

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  (865): She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit". http://tfl.nu/1ezf
  Replies (23) Good night (8398) Bad night (1108)
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  (315): View more from New York

  Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.

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  (315): Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes. http://tfl.nu/lvfu
  Replies (3) Good night (2233) Bad night (1057)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.

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  (513): You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute. http://tfl.nu/xfpy
  Replies (6) Good night (3281) Bad night (1521)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.

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  (814): I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011. http://tfl.nu/1xss
  Replies (4) Good night (1716) Bad night (1280)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.

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  (406): I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way. http://tfl.nu/wnl7
  Replies (11) Good night (662) Bad night (1367)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.

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  (440): Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car. http://tfl.nu/ebaa
  Replies (6) Good night (2712) Bad night (1041)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.

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  (505): I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome. http://tfl.nu/rp6m
  Replies (5) Good night (1180) Bad night (413)
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.

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  (928): Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating. http://tfl.nu/r7wa
  Replies (6) Good night (689) Bad night (613)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf

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  (425): Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf http://tfl.nu/epw3
  Replies (4) Good night (459) Bad night (447)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.

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  (330): I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend. http://tfl.nu/a48i
  Replies (1) Good night (765) Bad night (392)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.

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  (630): Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat. http://tfl.nu/hcfg
  Replies (1) Good night (430) Bad night (746)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.

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  (806): No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch. http://tfl.nu/nl2h
  Replies (4) Good night (495) Bad night (366)

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