I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
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you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
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all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
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We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .