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• (206): View more from Washington

  Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.

  Fav 14 2062 1032

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• (813): View more from Florida

  She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.

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• (712): View more from Iowa

  i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends

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• 

  23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.

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• (251): View more from Alabama

  How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?

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• (949): View more from California

  Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.

  (949): View more from California

  I felt like a god.

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• (807): View more from Ontario

  She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.

  Fav 16 1594 875

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  These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Is she still in your room?

  (1-978): View more from Massachusetts

  Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.

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• (270): View more from Kentucky

  She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary

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• (205): View more from Alabama

  My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going

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