My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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