Texts From Last Night

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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!

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  (262): Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time! http://tfl.nu/qxxi
  Replies (55) Good night (3955) Bad night (1134)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."

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  (480): They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..." http://tfl.nu/hs05
  Replies (43) Good night (1876) Bad night (6839)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.

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  (732): i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you. http://tfl.nu/3kwo
  Replies (18) Good night (5175) Bad night (861)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.

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  (508): I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave. http://tfl.nu/zhay
  Replies (6) Good night (1465) Bad night (3827)
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  (906): View more from Michigan

  Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.

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  (906): Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already. http://tfl.nu/ar92
  Replies (12) Good night (3785) Bad night (1813)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......

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  (610): Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain....... http://tfl.nu/fodn
  Replies (26) Good night (1785) Bad night (7296)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket

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  (703): I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket http://tfl.nu/mrk6
  Replies (11) Good night (1545) Bad night (3223)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.

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  (816): This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out. http://tfl.nu/wupp
  Replies (8) Good night (2446) Bad night (1058)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.

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  (720): Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego. http://tfl.nu/dgdq
  Replies (2) Good night (1432) Bad night (584)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"

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  (+44): If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine" http://tfl.nu/ib5o
  Replies (6) Good night (1075) Bad night (582)
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  (619): View more from California

  Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up

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  (619): Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up http://tfl.nu/pxnj
  Replies (3) Good night (906) Bad night (570)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.

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  (407): You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck. http://tfl.nu/hypr
  Replies (5) Good night (688) Bad night (1383)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us

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  (912): We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us http://tfl.nu/f6nz
  Replies (3) Good night (1175) Bad night (436)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I think that would solve a million problems

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  (774): I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining (508): I think that would solve a million problems http://tfl.nu/0h1f
  Replies (3) Good night (991) Bad night (358)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.

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  (508): Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life. http://tfl.nu/dd0r
  Replies (3) Good night (696) Bad night (325)

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