Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG