like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex