the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
39 Memes Anyone Who Cries When They See Their Bank Account Will Relate To
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
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