you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
