your parents love me but you hate me
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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