Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
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