it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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