you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
so much tequila, so little girl.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
