he looks like a really good dad on facebook
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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