i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
