i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
