why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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