i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
