we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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