absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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