My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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