Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
ok first of all what the fuck
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
