Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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