She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize