If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
