WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
how does that bad decision feel?
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