Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
