As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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