dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
