okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
