1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I just want nice things and good sex
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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