I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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