Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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