at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
