If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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