I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
