Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
