I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
