Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
