She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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