Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
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