You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
