I am full of burrito and curiosity
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I want to fling myself into the sun
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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