WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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