You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I checked into jail on foursquare
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Randomize
