Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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