Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I understand Curling. That high.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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