I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
