u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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