I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Randomize
