i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
