9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
