My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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