it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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