My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
