Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
