I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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