So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
im six kinds of drunk right now
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
