The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
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